For Christmas, A Little Faith (and a Little Phoebe)

When Lisa first met Donnie, she was trying out for his band. She didn't win the tryout—but she got the guitar player. "I knew I wanted to marry him when we met," said Lisa.

The couple also knew they wanted children right away—but there was a problem. Donnie was paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down. Although they talked about having children as soon as they were married, they kept putting it off, knowing that Donnie would likely have to have surgery in order for the couple to become pregnant.

Finally, they asked their OB to recommend an infertility specialist. After meeting with the doctor, "We almost gave up at that point," said Lisa. The couple would have to undergo more than $100,000 in surgeries—none of which would be covered by insurance—before the added expense of in vitro fertilization. And even then there would be no guarantee.

"I was a little afraid of bringing up the donor thing," said Lisa. "I wasn't sure it would be OK." But she did bring it up, and she and Donnie discussed it during the summer of 2007. At the end, Donnie said, "I'm OK with it. The baby would be from you and it would be biologically linked to you, and no matter what, it would be my kid regardless."

Their physician recommended Xytex because, said Lisa, "multiple patients of hers had used their donors and were very happy." So the couple logged onto the website. After purchasing the three-month unlimited access option, they scrolled through about 150 donors before narrowing it down to 20. "We had very strict criteria," said Lisa. "We needed somebody who looked like my husband, who doesn't have the typical build and whose features are very unique!" Both adult and baby photos, as well as the donors' essays and the availability of an identity disclosure program, helped the couple choose the right donor for them.

When Lisa found out that she was pregnant after their second IUI, "I was doing the happy dance!" she said. But even more amazing was when she and Donnie went to their first ultrasound: "When we saw two babies, my husband almost fainted!"

Twin girls, Faith and Phoebe, were delivered by C-section on December 2, with Donnie holding Lisa's hand throughout the delivery process. "Donnie was emotional, but he held it together. I was a complete waterworks! But we both were so happy. We couldn't believe they were actually here and that we were able to see them and hold them. They were beautiful."

For their first Christmas, the girls gave their parents the gift of sleeping (almost) through the night. But for Donnie and Lisa, they couldn't have asked for a better gift than their two new daughters. "Whether it's the man or the woman who has the infertility problem, of course you go through 'Why is this happening to me?' But if you want to have kids, the options are out there…And when you hold them for the first time, the fact that you used a donor doesn't matter. These options are out there for a reason. And it's made our lives complete."

If you are interested in sharing your story for an upcoming issue of Xytex Xtra, please contact us at xytex@xytex.com.