Xytex was on the list of sperm banks given to us from our fertility clinic, but we had also heard of them from friends of ours who were searching for a sperm donor at the same time that we were.
Tell us a bit more about your background. What do you do for a living? Are you in the U.S.? Overseas? Married?
My wife, Sarah, and I (Melissa) are both elementary school teachers. We live in Pennsylvania and have been together since 2011. We were married in 2017 in Las Vegas.
When did you begin your Xytex search/ pregnancy journey?
We began our donor search in 2017, but we didn’t find our perfect donor and make a purchase from Xytex until the fall of 2018. We began TTC in March 2019 and became pregnant in August 2019.
Are you in a heterosexual couple, a same-sex couple, or are you a single mother by choice?
We are a same-sex couple.
What challenges did you face when trying to become pregnant, if any? How did you handle those challenges?
Being a same-sex couple, we knew we would obviously need the help of science to become pregnant. We also each wanted to eventually have the chance to try to carry a child. Since Sarah is 5 years older, we always knew she would try to get pregnant first. We struggled to decide if the IUI or IVF route was best for us. The chance of success is much higher with IVF, but so is the price tag. Ultimately, we decided to try IUI first, since it was less costly. However, after 3 failed IUIs we switched to IVF and also switched fertility clinics. We didn’t feel that our first clinic was a good fit for us (for many reasons) but the most important reasons were that they were unorganized. We didn’t feel that their monitoring was sufficient enough to help us get pregnant. We learned a tough lesson about going above and beyond in your research. Our first clinic had a great reputation in our area for being a leading hospital in women’s health. Unfortunately, their fertility center, in our opinion, did not live up to that hype. After switching clinics and seeing how high their expectations were, we regretted wasting 3 cycles with our first clinic. BUT, the regret didn’t last long as we now have the baby we were supposed to have all along. We became pregnant after the first round of IVF and the first embryo transfer!
Who supported you the most during your donor search/ pregnancy?
Since we didn’t know how long this process would be and where it would take us, we didn’t tell our families and friends that we had begun the journey to having a baby, until we were getting ready to start the IVF process. We were definitely each other’s biggest supports during this time. As far as supports at Xytex, we had a lot of communication with Lynda Cribbs and Nannette Vilano. Both ladies were extremely friendly, helpful, and supportive during the time when we were waiting for vials of our donor to be released, while we waited on results of carrier screening, and finally with purchase and shipping.
How did you hear about Xytex?
Once we decided that we wanted to begin our journey to starting a family, we researched sperm banks that performed genetic testing on their donors. Xytex was on the list of sperm banks given to us from our fertility clinic, but we had also heard of them from friends of ours who were searching for a sperm donor at the same time that we were.
Why did you choose Xytex? What did you like most? What did you like least?
When we began our donor search, we were looking at three different sperm banks. We ultimately chose Xytex because of the extensive genetic testing that they provide, the rigorous screening process for donors, as well as the large number of adult photos that are available. In addition, because my wife and I are both CMV negative we needed a CMV negative donor. This can often limit the choices drastically. However, Xytex had a decent amount of CMV negative donors that had other attributes we were looking for.
The only thing that was a disappointment for us was learning that the sperm buyback period with Xytex is significantly shorter than other sperm banks. We purchased 9 vials to be used for 2 pregnancies. We plan on having 2-3 years between our children and that would go past the 2-year buyback period that Xytex offered (at the time of our purchase) should we have any vials left over.
How did Xytex compare to other sperm banks?
We love that Xytex is open to helping LGBTQ couples create a family. Extensive genetic testing and screening process, free 2-year storage with the purchase of multiple vials, messages from donors, multiple photos at different age ranges–including adult photos, and cost was slightly less than other sperm banks.
What was most important to you when choosing a donor? What were you looking for?
-As much information as possible regarding the donor and his family’s medical/health history
-Light eyes as both my wife and I have blue eyes.
-The written messages from the donors. We felt that these messages helped to give us a small glimpse into their personality and their reason for donating. Knowing that our donor’s reason for donation was to help others create a family was important to us.
What would you tell others looking for a donor? Any advice?
Take your time to find the donor that feels right for you, don’t rush it. Focus on what’s most important to you whether that be medical history, education, ethnicity, etc. This helped to make the process less overwhelming for us.
Why would you recommend Xytex?
Xytex made the process so easy! When we initially found our donor his vials were not yet available, and we were placed on a pending list. That alone was stressful because we knew we wanted to purchase a significant amount of vials and didn’t want to risk not having enough for two pregnancies. However, the staff members we worked with were wonderful, stayed in contact, and helped us feel more at ease! Also, the purchase and shipping process was seamless. We never worried about the tank not showing up on time to our fertility clinic.
Was our website/resources helpful?
Yes, the website was easy to navigate as was the donor search feature. We especially appreciated the resources that helped us to make decisions about carrier screening and whether or not to choose an identity disclosure donor.
After completing your purchase with Xytex, what happened from there?
After purchasing our vials in November 2018, we had Xytex store them until our first IUI in March of 2019. A simple phone call to Xytex was all it took to schedule the ship date for the sperm each time. In August of 2019, we became pregnant with our daughter!
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Site Usage and Information Agreement
Effective 3rd April 2017
IMPORTANT! THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS AREA BINDING LEGAL AGREEMENT (this “Agreement”). PLEASE READ THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS CAREFULLY BEFORE USING THIS SITE.
This Agreement governs your use of www.xytex.com and any other website or page offered by Xytex and its subsidiaries and affiliates that links to this Agreement (collectively, including all associated content, communications, tools, features, functionality and services, the “Site”). This Agreement is by and between Xytex and its subsidiaries and affiliates (referred to herein as “Xytex”, “we”, “us”, or “our”) and you, on behalf of yourself, individually, or the organization on whose behalf organization you have registered (in either case, “you”). If you access the Site in your capacity as an employee, owner, or otherwise as an agent of an entity, you represent and warrant that you have the authority to bind such entity to the terms of this Agreement. You are deemed to have accepted this Agreement by accepting this Agreement and/or by using, viewing, transmitting, caching, storing and/or otherwise utilizing the Site, the services or functions offered in or by the Site and/or the contents of the Site in any way. For clarity, upon such access and use, you shall have agreed to each and all of the terms and conditions set forth below, and waive any right to claim ambiguity or error in this Agreement. If you do not agree to any portion of this Agreement, please discontinue use of the Site immediately. We reserve the right, at our sole and absolute discretion, to change, modify, add, or remove portions of this Agreement at any time without prior notice and, unless otherwise indicated, such changes will become effective immediately when an updated version of this Agreement is posted online; therefore, please check this Agreement periodically for changes. Your continued use of the Site following the posting of changes to this Agreement will mean you accept those changes. Please print and retain a copy of this Agreement, as it may be changed from time to time, for your records.
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III. RESTRICTIONS ON USE
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You are entirely responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password and account and for all activities that occur under your account. You hereby indemnify, defend and hold us (including our subsidiaries and affiliates), our suppliers and licensors, and each of such person’s or entities’ officers, directors, agents, contractors, subcontractors, guests, residents, visitors, licensees, invitees, permitees and employees (collectively, the “Indemnified Parties”) harmless from and against any and all allegations, demands, claims, liabilities, damages, fines, penalties or costs of whatsoever nature (including reasonable attorneys’ and experts fees and court costs) and whether by reason of death of or injury to any person or loss of or damage to any property or otherwise (“Claims”) arising out of or in any way connected with this Agreement, the services or products provided to you by us through the Site or any related act or failure to act by you and whether or not occasioned or contributed to by the negligence of Xytex or any agent or employee of the Indemnified Parties or any of them (except as and to the extent prohibited by applicable law) or Claims arising from your account, including, without limitation, any Claims related to infringement by you of the intellectual property rights of any person, including without limitation, copyright, patent, trade secret, trade mark, artist rights, droit moral, privacy, publicity or rights under other intellectual property laws. In the event that any Claim is made or any action or proceeding is brought against the Indemnified Parties, or any of them, arising out of or connected with this Agreement, any such Indemnified Party may, by reasonable notice to you, require you, at your expense, to resist such Claim or take over the defense of any such action or proceeding and employ counsel for such purpose, such counsel to be subject to the prior written approval of such Indemnified Party, which approval shall be deemed to have been given hereby in the case of counsel acting for your insurance underwriters engaged in such resistance or defense. You shall cooperate with us in the defense of any Claim. We reserve the right, at our own expense, to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter otherwise subject to indemnification by you.
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We make no representation that the services or products offered in the Site are appropriate or available for use in any particular location. Those who choose to access the Site and our products and services do soon their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with local laws in their jurisdiction. If use of the Site and/or viewing or use of any material or content on the Site orif use of our products or services violates any applicable law in your jurisdiction, you are not authorized to view or use the Site, products and/or services and must discontinue use immediately. Your viewing and/or use of the Site constitutes your representation that you are unconditionally and without limitation permitted to view and use the Site and the Indemnified Parties may rely upon such representation. The Site is operated from the United States and it is possible that some Software from the Site may be subject to United States export controls. No Software from the Site may be downloaded or otherwise exported or re-exported to any person or to any location in violation of the export laws of the United States or any other jurisdiction. By downloading or using the Software, you represent and warrant that you are not located in a restricted location, or a restricted person or under the control of a restricted person.
This Agreement, as amended, remains effective during all periods of time during which you access the Site, our products or services. Your access to the Site may be terminated immediately without notice from us if in our sole and absolute discretion you fail to comply with any term or provision of this Agreement. Upon termination, you must cease use of the Site and destroy all materials obtained from such site and all copies thereof, whether made under the terms of this Agreement or otherwise. All rights and obligations which by their nature are intended to survive the termination of your use of the Site and/or termination of this Agreement in order to be fully operative, shall survive termination including, without limitation, the following provisions: Agreement; Additional Terms; Privacy (Part I), User Eligibility; Your Account (Part II); Restrictions on Use(Part III); Submissions (Part IV); Forums and Public Communications, second to last paragraph (Part V); Disclaimers (Part VII); Indemnification (Part VIII); Limitation of Liability (Part IX); Release (Part X); Termination (this Part XII); General Provisions (Part XIII); and Notice and Procedure for Making Claims of Copyright Infringement (Part XV).
XIII. GENERAL PROVISIONS
You shall comply with all applicable laws, statutes, ordinances and regulations regarding your use of the Site and your solicitation of offers to purchase and/or sell products and/or services. This Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Georgia, U.S.A., without giving effect to any principles of conflicts of law. You agree that (1) any action at law or in equity arising out of or relating to the terms of this Agreement, our products or services shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, and filed only in the state or federal courts located in Richmond County, Georgia, U.S.A., and you hereby consent and submit to the personal jurisdiction of such courts for the purposes of litigating any such action, and (2) any and all claims, judgments and awards shall be limited to your actual-out-of-pocket costs incurred, but in no event attorneys’ fees, and under no circumstances will you be permitted to obtain awards for, and you hereby waive, all rights to claim any indirect, punitive, incidental, and consequential damages and any other damages, other than for actual out-of-pocket expenses, and any and all rights to have damages multiplied or otherwise increased. If any provision of this Agreement shall be unlawful, void, or for any reason unenforceable, then that provision shall be deemed severable from this Agreement and shall not affect the validity and enforceability of any remaining provisions. This is the entire agreement between us relating to the subject matter of this Agreement and shall not be modified except as otherwise set forth in this Agreement. No waiver of any term, provision or condition of this Agreement, whether by conduct or otherwise, in any one or more instances, shall be deemed to be, or shall constitute, a waiver of any other term, provision or condition of this Agreement, whether or not similar, nor shall any waiver constitute a continuing waiver of any such term, provision or condition of this Agreement. No waiver shall be binding unless executed in writing by the party making the waiver. You agree that you will execute and deliver to us, in recordable form if necessary, such further documents, instruments or agreements, and shall take such further action, that may be necessary or appropriate to effectuate the purposes of this Agreement.
XIV. DIGITAL SIGNATURE PROVISIONS
You further agree that your clicking to accept terms and conditions on the Site constitutes a valid, legal and binding electronic signature and that you will have formed, executed, entered into, accepted the terms of, and otherwise acknowledged and agreed to the applicable terms.
In accordance with the U.S. Digital Millennium Copyright Act, notifications of claimed copyright infringement should be sent to our Designated Agent. Notification must be submitted to the following Designated Agent:
To be effective, the notification must be a written communication that you can mail or email to us as indicated above that includes the following:
Effective 3rd April 2017
We collect personally identifiable information that you provide to us when you register to use the Site or any portion of the Site, like xyConnects, register to receive our newsletter, request information or services from us, or otherwise communicate or interact with us online. We also may receive information about you from third-party sources and add it to the information you have provided to us.
We use your personally identifiable information for a variety of business purposes, including to provide information or services you request, to communicate with you about them, to do all things necessary to administer the Site and our services, and manage, protect and improve them.
We are not responsible for the information you volunteer about yourself or choose to make public in discussions in our forums or other interactions through the Site that are accessible to other users.
We collect a variety of information from donors, including personal information, such as name and contact information, that can be used to identify or contact a donor. While we do not intentionally release personally identifying information of donors without their consent, it is possible that certain information like hair color, eye color, race, ethnic origin, height, weight, baby picture, medical history and other information you submit to us for inclusion in a donor profile (“Donor Information”) could result in persons familiar with you recognizing you.
We use information gathered through these tools to improve the way our Site works, for example by employing third-party analytics tools which aggregate anonymized user information to help us better design our Site, and to enhance the functionality of our Site, for example by remembering preferences or other choices that you make, such as user names and the like. By allowing us to understand how you use our Site over time, these tools can help us provide you with a better, more relevant online experience.
Unless your browser settings are configured to make your online activities and publicly available information about your online activities (such as traffic data described above under #3) invisible to usage analytics tools, we do not presently have the capability to omit you from our analytics to the extent your browser only sends us a “do not track” message and does not otherwise screen you from tracking without action on our part. While we, or vendors on our behalf, may track the websites you visited before and after our website as part of the traffic data described above for our internal business purposes, we do not authorize other third parties (e.g., advertisers) to do so, but it is nonetheless possible that third parties may do so for their own purposes with respect to which we may have no knowledge or control.
We share Donor Information with users as described on the Site. We may use third parties to help operate our Site, deliver and improve our services through the Site, and develop our offerings, and we may share information we have about you with such third parties for such purposes. These third parties are not authorized by us to use any of your personally identifiable information except as needed for such purposes.
We reserve the right to transfer any information we have about you in connection with a sale, merger, consolidation, change in control, transfer of assets, reorganization or liquidation of our business.
We reserve the right to disclose any information as needed if that information is requested by law enforcement agencies or if we are required to do so by applicable law. Users should also be aware that courts of equity, such as U.S. Bankruptcy Courts, might have the authority under certain circumstances to permit personally identifiable information to be shared or transferred to third parties without permission.
Xytex is based in the United States of America. Any personally identifiable information you provide may be stored and maintained in our databases in the United States or transferred to our databases outside the United States. By providing us with your information, you consent to this transfer.
If you receive a newsletter or similar promotional email from us, you will be given the option to “unsubscribe” from receiving further emails from us. Your election not to receive promotional and marketing materials will not preclude us from corresponding with you, by email or otherwise, regarding your existing or past business relationships with us (e.g., any purchase of our products), or to respond to requests for information you pose to us, and will not preclude us from accessing and viewing your personally identifiable information in maintaining and improving our Service.
This Site is not intended for, or designed to attract, minors under the age of 18 or the applicable age of majority in their jurisdiction of residence (if higher than 18). In particular, no children under the age of 13 should provide any personally identifiable information to us, and we do not knowingly collect such information from such persons. If we learn that we have collected the personally identifiable information of such a person we will take steps to delete the information as soon as possible. Children under the age of majority in any non-U.S. jurisdiction should not provide any personally identifiable information without their parent’s consent.
Pursuant to Section 1798.83 of the California Civil Code, residents of California have the right to request from a business, with whom the California resident has an established business relationship, what types of personal information the business shares with third parties for direct marketing purposes by such third party and the identities of the third parties with whom the business has shared such information in the immediate preceding calendar year. To access this information, please contact us by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or mail at 1100 Emmett Street, Augusta, Georgia 30904, Attn: CA Privacy Request.
Thank you for registering a clinic account on Xytex. Your information has been recorded and our administration will review your information and respond as soon as possible. Please feel free to contact us with any questions.