We’re still fairly early in our baby-making journey but this week we’ve successfully had 13 embryos fertilised using our Xytex donor’s sperm in our first cycle so we’re happy to provide details up to this point!
Tell us a bit more about your background. What do you do for a living? Are you in the U.S.? Overseas? Married?
We are a British female couple in our late twenties based just outside London. We both work in education and are keen adventurers, meeting whilst teaching bushcraft survival skills in the outdoors 5 years ago. We married in the Canadian Rockies in September 2019!
What year did you begin your Xytex search/ pregnancy journey?
We began officially looking into starting a family following the wedding, so in late 2019.
Are you in a heterosexual couple, a same-sex couple, or are you a single mother by choice?
We are a same-sex female couple.
What challenges did you face when trying to become pregnant, if any? How did you handle those challenges?
As a female couple, we chose to use my egg and donor sperm, with me as the carrier or “Bio-Mum”. Although I’m young, fit and healthy with no fertility issues (thankfully), we still only had half the toolbox in order to conceive – we needed the “Bio-Dad” puzzle piece!
In finding out more about egg donation along the way, I also chose to be an egg donor as part of our fertility treatment. What better feeling to be able to give another couple the chance to create a family while we’re creating ours, and we’d also get to see the donor process from both sides!
Who supported you the most during your donor search?
Our family members were definitely key players in supporting us through this journey – I think some of them wanted this long before we even did! As an IVF-conceived baby myself, there’s also something kind of satisfying about coming full circle, and my parents have enjoyed sharing and comparing their experience 28 years ago – if only the cost was the same!
How did you hear about Xytex? How did you go about finding us?
We began our donor search through our fertility centre’s sperm bank in the UK, and after excitedly providing them with our desired characteristics and awaiting news, we were fairly disappointed with the response – just 3 possible candidates, a few short and vague bullet points on each, and some of these only loosely matching our search criteria.
Unfortunately but understandably, the UK works under very strict anonymity laws regarding donors, therefore we were only able to gain limited information on each, and of course no photos. However, this wasn’t just picking the perfect paint colour for our bedroom wall, it was choosing our future children’s DNA, so we didn’t feel we could make such a big decision based on so little.
We then turned to the London sperm bank, which had a few more candidates and a few extra bullet points, but still not enough to fully reassure us that we could make the most informed decision.
We turned to Xytex, which our fertility clinic directed us to, as our final option – reluctantly at first as we knew it would involve more time, more expense, and more unknowns as a provider in the States. But we didn’t look back!
Why did you choose Xytex? What did you like most?
The amount of choice and level of detail was incredible. This wasn’t just a few bullet points in an email, we had information on EVERYTHING – not just detailed physical characteristics and features, but comprehensive medical histories and testing for multiple genetic conditions, all in a simple, easy to use online system that we could browse independently. And there were even photos of donors at various stages of life, which was amazing!
We also liked that in using a Xytex donor, we were guaranteed a ‘family slot’ with them, meaning that any future children we decided to have could all have the same biological father, an important factor for us.
What was most important to you when choosing a donor? What were you looking for?
As we were using my egg, and my wife wasn’t biologically involved, it was important to us that our donor’s physical characteristics matched hers as closely as possible. This meant that physically, we were ideally looking for Caucasian, blonde, blue eyed, tall and athletic, while also wanting a simple medical history and little or no genetic conditions that could potentially affect our children.
We were also keen that our donor had chosen ‘identity disclosure’, as we want to make sure that the option for our children to find out who their ‘Bio-Dad’ is in the future is always open.
What would you tell others looking for a donor? Any advice?
Take your time and don’t rush it – this is an important decision, so don’t feel like you should just stick with the first one you land on! Also get your family and close friends’ opinion on some of your choices if you want – they’d love to feel included in the process and they can also help to approach aspects that you may not have thought of.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. As a British couple looking at an overseas provider independently of our fertility clinic, it did feel overwhelming at first. There was a lot to understand and take in, so we did end up firing a lot of questions Xytex’s way. The team seemed friendly and responses were quick though, which helped.
Why would you recommend Xytex?
We’d recommend it ultimately for the amount of choices available. It’s so reassuring to have such a high level of detail and so many options to base this important decision on.
Was our website/resources helpful?
The website was very accessible, up to date and easy to use.
After completing your purchase with Xytex, what happened from there?
Unfortunately, when initially purchasing our units, our fertility clinic was then closed due to the coronavirus outbreak. Helpfully, Xytex offered 6 months of free storage to allow for our delay, and upon reopening, our clinic then liaised with Xytex to have these units shipped over in time for our new treatment cycle dates beginning in August 2020.
And 3 weeks later, we’re now the proud potential-parents-to-be of 13 successfully fertilised embryos, using our donor through IVF! This means that in just 1 cycle, we potentially have our first child, plus plenty of sibling cycle options secured. We couldn’t be happier at this stage.
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Site Usage and Information Agreement
Effective 3rd April 2017
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XIV. DIGITAL SIGNATURE PROVISIONS
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In accordance with the U.S. Digital Millennium Copyright Act, notifications of claimed copyright infringement should be sent to our Designated Agent. Notification must be submitted to the following Designated Agent:
To be effective, the notification must be a written communication that you can mail or email to us as indicated above that includes the following:
Effective 3rd April 2017
We collect personally identifiable information that you provide to us when you register to use the Site or any portion of the Site, like xyConnects, register to receive our newsletter, request information or services from us, or otherwise communicate or interact with us online. We also may receive information about you from third-party sources and add it to the information you have provided to us.
We use your personally identifiable information for a variety of business purposes, including to provide information or services you request, to communicate with you about them, to do all things necessary to administer the Site and our services, and manage, protect and improve them.
We are not responsible for the information you volunteer about yourself or choose to make public in discussions in our forums or other interactions through the Site that are accessible to other users.
We collect a variety of information from donors, including personal information, such as name and contact information, that can be used to identify or contact a donor. While we do not intentionally release personally identifying information of donors without their consent, it is possible that certain information like hair color, eye color, race, ethnic origin, height, weight, baby picture, medical history and other information you submit to us for inclusion in a donor profile (“Donor Information”) could result in persons familiar with you recognizing you.
We use information gathered through these tools to improve the way our Site works, for example by employing third-party analytics tools which aggregate anonymized user information to help us better design our Site, and to enhance the functionality of our Site, for example by remembering preferences or other choices that you make, such as user names and the like. By allowing us to understand how you use our Site over time, these tools can help us provide you with a better, more relevant online experience.
Unless your browser settings are configured to make your online activities and publicly available information about your online activities (such as traffic data described above under #3) invisible to usage analytics tools, we do not presently have the capability to omit you from our analytics to the extent your browser only sends us a “do not track” message and does not otherwise screen you from tracking without action on our part. While we, or vendors on our behalf, may track the websites you visited before and after our website as part of the traffic data described above for our internal business purposes, we do not authorize other third parties (e.g., advertisers) to do so, but it is nonetheless possible that third parties may do so for their own purposes with respect to which we may have no knowledge or control.
We share Donor Information with users as described on the Site. We may use third parties to help operate our Site, deliver and improve our services through the Site, and develop our offerings, and we may share information we have about you with such third parties for such purposes. These third parties are not authorized by us to use any of your personally identifiable information except as needed for such purposes.
We reserve the right to transfer any information we have about you in connection with a sale, merger, consolidation, change in control, transfer of assets, reorganization or liquidation of our business.
We reserve the right to disclose any information as needed if that information is requested by law enforcement agencies or if we are required to do so by applicable law. Users should also be aware that courts of equity, such as U.S. Bankruptcy Courts, might have the authority under certain circumstances to permit personally identifiable information to be shared or transferred to third parties without permission.
Xytex is based in the United States of America. Any personally identifiable information you provide may be stored and maintained in our databases in the United States or transferred to our databases outside the United States. By providing us with your information, you consent to this transfer.
If you receive a newsletter or similar promotional email from us, you will be given the option to “unsubscribe” from receiving further emails from us. Your election not to receive promotional and marketing materials will not preclude us from corresponding with you, by email or otherwise, regarding your existing or past business relationships with us (e.g., any purchase of our products), or to respond to requests for information you pose to us, and will not preclude us from accessing and viewing your personally identifiable information in maintaining and improving our Service.
This Site is not intended for, or designed to attract, minors under the age of 18 or the applicable age of majority in their jurisdiction of residence (if higher than 18). In particular, no children under the age of 13 should provide any personally identifiable information to us, and we do not knowingly collect such information from such persons. If we learn that we have collected the personally identifiable information of such a person we will take steps to delete the information as soon as possible. Children under the age of majority in any non-U.S. jurisdiction should not provide any personally identifiable information without their parent’s consent.
Pursuant to Section 1798.83 of the California Civil Code, residents of California have the right to request from a business, with whom the California resident has an established business relationship, what types of personal information the business shares with third parties for direct marketing purposes by such third party and the identities of the third parties with whom the business has shared such information in the immediate preceding calendar year. To access this information, please contact us by email at email@example.com or mail at 1100 Emmett Street, Augusta, Georgia 30904, Attn: CA Privacy Request.
Thank you for registering a clinic account on Xytex. Your information has been recorded and our administration will review your information and respond as soon as possible. Please feel free to contact us with any questions.